In 6 weeks...

Well, I met with my doctor today and I need to have surgery. I thought it was going to be another DNC, but this is going to be a major surgery. He is actually going to cut me open. Personally, I'm not sure if I want to go through with it, but he said it would reduce the chance of another miscarriage. Also, the pregnancy seems to have triggered this condition again so in order not to almost bleed to death I don't have much choice. However, hearing all of that wasn't the worse part of the visit. This was my first doctor's visit since we lost Charli and it was so hard to be around all those pregnant women. I was surrounded by four women exchanging ultrasound photos and pregnancy stories while I waited to be called. I almost started crying right in front of them. Then once I met with the doctor and nurse I had to go over what happened since the on-call doctor delivered her. I was so happy to get out of there and into bed. Although, I have been finding it rather hard to sleep when every three hours I begin losing vast amounts of blood. It's funny(in a sad way) but I have to sleep with those elderly incontinence pads. Despite all of this, I am holding out hope that tomorrow will be better. I have a prescription to slow the bleeding and a positive outlook.